I guess I’d like to share with you more about what this
chemotherapy is. Some of you have gone through a form of it. Others know
someone that has gone through it and the rest of you know little to nothing
about it.
So what is it?
For me and my treatment plan they are giving me the
following chemo drugs dosages:
Doxorubicin HCL 20mg
Vincristine Sulfate 0.8mg
Etoposide 101mg
Mixed in with 9% saline 500ml
You can read the links to learn more about them because my
uneducated explanation won’t do anyone any good.
My Dr. has told me that I’m on
heavy dosages and they want to bump them up, but because some of my counts were
low they couldn’t during this cycle.
The effects of these drugs can really help explain the fight
within the fight, and not just for me, but for anyone that has to go through
this.
One of the first side effects that I went through was losing
my hair. One of the others is a slight numbing and tingling feeling in my
fingers and I get it in my toes. That is cause by the Vincristine. What it is
doing is causing nerve damage. The Dr.’s concern is when it becomes painful and
I start to have some clumsiness with my hands or atrophy happening so they can
adjust the dosage and plan for a treatment after chemo if it doesn’t resolve
itself on its own. Some of these treatments for the side effects might take a
few weeks, others months and some I may have to live with for the rest of my
life. That’s just the cost of living.
Another side effect that I’m concerned about is heart damage
caused by the Doxorubicin. I’ll be getting Echo CT’s that will determine the
effects that the drug has had on my heart if any at all.
My Neutrophil question was about
learning online that its level could be low because of a low B12. I stopped
taking my B12 sups when my lymphnode wasn’t getting any better and didn’t know
what the problem was. The Dr. told me that it’s the chemo drugs that are
stripping me clean and I didn’t have to worry about taking a B12 sup cause it
wouldn’t make a difference and no B deficiencies showed up in my bloods anyway.
So for my next cycle I’m hoping that my levels are where they need to be so the
Dr.’s can give me the dosages they want. My Neulasta shot will boost my counts
back up. Me keeping myself healthy, viral and infection free will help a great
deal.
Part of the Dr.s plan is damage control from the side
effects of these drugs. I have to be just as mindful as they are because I’m
the one that’s needs to provide them feedback as I go along. I’m also the one
that has to deal with the side effects until they’re resolved or live with them
for the rest of my life.
Another thing I wanted to share with you was the survival
ratio. It’s 2-5 years in remission. What that means is my treatments will get
rid of the cancer so it’s remised. I continue to see the doctor and have tests
done. Over the course of 1 year, 2 years my survival ratio increases. After 3
years, 4 years and 5 years of remission they consider the cancer is gone. If
the cancer comes back during the next 2-5 years I go back in for treatment
again. In that event my overall health will dictate what treatment plans are
available to me.
That’s not even the radiation! I haven’t gotten that far
yet. That’s a whole nother world.
My doctors agree that I’m a tough kid, but not because I say
or I talk a good game, but because of my body’s response to the treatment. I’m
very strong and they are telling me that I can handle more. So I feel like the
racecar driver that’s itchin’ to punch it around the track.
I’m not scared by any of this cause I’m so pissed off that
this disease dared come into my life after I turned it around. Not that I would
want this disease anyway. I could fill the world with guys that can beat the
crap out of me. I could fill the world with people that are and will always be
smarter than I will ever be. I can fill the world with people that have and
will accomplish more in their lives that I ever will. But you won’t find
another living breathing thing in this world that will break me down!!!
Sometimes I feel like this is penance for all the wrongs I’ve
done in my life, the people that I’ve hurt, they know who they are. If it is I’m
man enough to serve my penance. In a religious perspective I’d be correct. With
any luck I’ll gain closure from those I’ve hurt.
These things just happen. Some we have control over and
others we don’t. I’m not going to focus on the whys or the why me’s. Sometimes I can't escape those thoughts. There isn’t anything I can do about it except wage war and
fight to win, period! I’ll work with my team of doctors on damage control and
make the very best out of the outcome.
So, how about a good laugh at my expense after all that,
huh?
Today France and I were sitting down ready to eat lunch in
my room and being most considerate I got up to blast some gas in the bathroom
instead of blasting away at the table. So, I get up, go to the bathroom, but I was
so gassy that I blasted a live round in my pants. While I struggled to get my
jonnie off I blasted a couple of more live rounds on the floor while I fought to
make it to the bowl.
I look at it this way were all going to crap ourselves twice
in our lives. Once because we don’t know any better and another because we can’t
control ourselves anymore. So who cares about the in-betweens? There is no shame in this
game.
